My So-Called Chaos: February 2012

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Organizing Your Accessories & Dating Jerks

I am a person who is absolutely obsessed with organizing things.

I go nuts over little plastic bins, storage shelves, or anything of that nature in the store.

I think it's because I'm rather disorganized, and still looking for that one thing that will help.

Well, help and actually keep me in habit of staying that way!

Here are some great ideas for organization that I've found recently.

Jewelry

This one was how I had mine set up.

I think it's kind of pretty-and the whole thing cost me less than $3 to put together.

Check out the Tutorial HERE.

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I have one of these and I love it! It stays pretty organized actually.

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I love the four ideas above.

I wonder if you could easily make something like it out of two wooden silverware trays... They'd be fairly cheap at IKEA, paint them, stick in a few hooks and hang them... Hmm... Maybe a project for me one day...

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LOVE!

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I bought the supplies for this one, but haven't done it yet.

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A way to use some vintage knobs? Love it!

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Shower rings on a hanger for easy scarf storage! Brilliant!

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For nail polish! Cute AND functional!

As for my "What the Hell" moment this week"

This morning a friend of mine posted on Facebook about how tired he is that girls are complaining about Men sucking, and that they should just stop dating assholes and give nice guys a chance instead of whining about it.

Before I continue, let me say he's my friend and I care about him, so nothing I'm saying is a jab-It just is what it is. To an extent, I agree with him. I think we're attracted to confidence and self esteem, and all too often the guys who have that are jerks. Sometimes we do need to give nice guys a chance.

HOWEVER, It doesn't have matter how nice you are-if you can't hold down a job, stay off the drugs, or move out of your parents house by 30-you don't have a whole hell of a lot to offer. I'm not about Money, at all-but I am not going to pay for your share of everything, or drive you everywhere, or deal with you being high instead of being in the moment with me. That is not worth it just because you're not an asshole.

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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Another Weekend Full of Happy

*I am happy that Shawn and I went out for Buffalo Wild Wings on Friday!

Shawn at BWW.

Asian wings = awesome, garlic wings = gross!

*I am happy that I got to see my Kristi and my beautiful goddaughter Kailee this weekend. I kept thinking that the only thing I wanted when I got home from work was a beer and a hug from the kiddo!

I was tickling her as she wore my Oscar the Grouch hat.

Kristi came down Friday and we all went out to grab Hawaiian BBQ for dinner, we then played Rock Band, and then Maxie came down and we all hung out watching movies until it was time for bed. I was totally in love with Kailee's outfit, it looks so bohemian/hippie-esque. When I get skinny, I'm totally going to rock boots, mini skirt, vest and headbands! (minus the monkey on her shirt.)

Saturday we got up and went to breakfast, and then Kristi and Kailee went home for the day and the roommate, Max and I went wandering. First we went clothes shopping for Max, but didn't have much luck finding good stuff.

Josh trying on an ugly shirt that looked like grandma's kitchen table.

After that, we wandered Furniture Warehouse since it's closing down. We decided that when I get a house, I need a Madamme's chair, like you'd see in a whorehouse!

Max said he'd choose this as his Madamme's chair.

And the roommate found this one.

Here they are trying to look "uninterested and twatty."

I'm sure the furniture store salesmen thought we were nuts! It was a hell of a good time.

*I'm also happy that I"m now volunteering for Cause for Paws! I get to use my talents to maintain their website and update their blog! Huzzah! Check it out HERE!

*I'm happy that I've been shopping for my package for miss Mamarazzi. This is going to be such a fun package!

What are you happy about this week?

Monday, February 27, 2012

MM: Turn & Turn Again

This week's song:

Turn and Turn Again

by All Thieves

What are you listening to this week?

Link Up!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Grieving

"According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, when we're dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through five distinct stages of grief. We go into denial because the loss is so unthinkable we can’t imagine it’s true. We become angry with everyone, angry with survivors, angry with ourselves. Then we bargain. We beg. We plead. We offer everything we have, we offer our souls in exchange for just one more day. When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we fall into depression, despair, until finally we have to accept that we’ve done everything we can. We let go. We let go and move into acceptance."

-Grey's Anatomy, Season 6, Episode 2

***

I've been thinking a lot about the five stages of grief (the Kübler-Ross model) lately, and how it affects both the people I know and myself. I'm in a weird place. I smile and go through the day like normal, but inside I feel like a can of carbonated emotions that has been shaken so many times it's about to pop and spray everywhere. The hardest part for me is that I feel like I shouldn't be feeling like this. I shouldn't be having a hard time letting go, I should be able to just pick myself up and move on like I usually do. It's just not happening.

***

"Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grieve, it's life, it's loss, it's change."

-Grey's Anatomy, Season 6, Episode 2

***

I've been watching a lot of my friends go through their grieving too, and contemplating how it works for each of us. I have friends that have experienced deaths both tragic and natural within the past year, divorces that left them aching, and all around life altering change and acceptance of past events they've blocked out for too long already. They hurt, and I hurt for them as well.

I'm not very good at knowing what to do or say when they're hurting like that. I think it's mostly because I don't even know how to handle my own grief. Everyone reacts differently. Some people want to be held and around people all the time, and I just want to pretend nothing is wrong until it gets too hard and then I want to shut myself away from the world and be left to it until I'm ready to talk. Then when I need to talk, I want to process it and regurgitate everything I've been thinking out loud to someone until it actually makes sense to me.

I'm grieving, and I've been having a hard time understanding why exactly I'm grieving so hard. Why can't I just accept that he's just another asshole ex and move on instead of torturing myself with the process? I mean it's been years since we were actually in a relationship, the last few years we've just been friends.

This weekend I came to terms with why this has been so hard. Looking back, I'm pretty sure he's the only one of my exes I've ever actually loved. Which would make him my first love. Which means he's stuck being the one I never really let go of completely. Damn it. I hate him.

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I hate him for using me for as long as he needed me and then just dropping me when he decided he didn't any more, for stopping being my friend so he could sleep with my friend, for pulling me into his life and getting me attached to those children of his and then just shutting me out, for trying to turn my friends against me, for saying hateful things about a mutual friend when that friend needed love most, and for being everything I never thought he was.

Mostly I hate that I know the hate will fade. I want to hang on to the anger, because angry is so much easier than sadness. I'd rather hate him than miss him, because I really don't want anything to do with him ever again. He's proven that he'll never be the person I thought he was. The hardest part for me is the kids. I miss them more than my heart can take.

I've got some healing to do, and I'm not sure where to start. I'll just keep moving forward and hoping that with a little love and support, the pain I feel will fade as I go.

***

"And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad, the thing we've got to remember is that it can turn on a dime. That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breath, that's how you survive. By remembering that someday, somehow, impossibly, you wont feel this way. It wont hurt so much.

Grief comes in it's own time for everyone, in it's own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty. The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to feel it when it comes, and let it go when we can.

The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away."

-Grey's Anatomy, Season 6, Episode 2

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I Love Pit Bulls

I love Pit Bulls. I know a lot of people don't, but I can't help it. Not only are they gorgeous and adorable, but they are the most loyal and loving dogs I've ever met. I've decided that when I get a house, I want one, so I'll be adopting one from a rescue or shelter. Adopt not shop.

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Did you know that Pitties were once considered to be "Nanny dogs". They were loved for their love and calmness with children.

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On a very real note...

Here are some lovely babies looking for homes.

If you'd like to adopt them, please let me know and I'd be happy to put you in touch, or help in any way I can. I'd love to see them all happy and healthy in new homes. Arrangements for travel can be figured out too in most cases. :)