I confess that the last week and a half or so has been one crazy ride. I met a boy at Bingo. We flirted, I found stalked added him on Facebook and he was glad I did. We chatted, exchanged numbers, and then he took me to dinner and the theatre.
Since then we've been out several times, and he's spent the night a few too... Through it all he's always been a perfect gentleman. He opens the doors, he pays (even though he doesn't have to), and he always seems to say the right thing. I am in awe. And a bit smitten.
I confess that there is a catch. He is moving to the Oregon coast this weekend. I knew this from the start and never really expected to get caught in this whirlwind romance and get attached so fast. In a way having that expiration date looming was a good thing because I never hid my crazy. Why should I? He wasn't staying, so if I scared him off then it wouldn't make much of a difference. I laid it out on the table and was the most me I could be. He liked ME: crazy and with all my clutter.
I confess that I've found myself in tears more than once over the timing. I can't help it. It doesn't help that I'm listening to A Fine Frenzy at the same time... Melancholy rainy days just bring out the oh-so-sweet sadness that makes me want to wallow in it. In spite of that, I never once doubted that I was going to be okay, or that it was more than worth it for all the awesome memories we have made in such a short time.
Yesterday I confessed exactly how I was feeling and how heartbroken I was that he's leaving so soon... I confessed that I'd never ask him to stay but I very much wished he wasn't going, and that we could see where this would lead.
Most men would have bolted. Well, most men wouldn't have come this far in the first place. They would have gotten in my pants and moved far away without another thought. Through it all he's wanted to get to know me. He's wanted to make sure I was okay. He has said to me "And how do you feel about that?" And I have answered honestly.
He confessed that he was trying not to be angry because I was making him question his choices to leave. I confessed I was glad that I wasn't alone in feeling this way.
We decided that while we don't have faith in long distance relationships (so we wont tempt fate), we're both willing to be something more than friends and keep getting to know each other, to visit each other, and to see if our timing ever lines up and we land back in the same place. We're going to let it be what it will be, and we will either naturally grow apart with the distance or naturally come back around to each other again.
I confess that even though I am the most impatient person I know, I am excited to see where the ride takes us-and I'm not even going to try and read the last page first.
Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Ques sera sera
Whatever will be will be...
You never know unless you try!
ReplyDeleteaw honey i feel so bad for you but you're right whatever will be will be maybe the universe will play in your favor
ReplyDeleteSometimes you have to try because you never know what will happen! The universe works in crazy ways!
ReplyDeleteI hope that it all works out for you both - you just never know what might be in store for you as a couple... :)
ReplyDeleteWow....well I hope you guys can continue to make some fun memories, and that you've enjoyed it so far.
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up with Friday Confessional. Have a fabulous weekend.
Sometimes you just have to see where life takes you. Isn't the saying that life happens when your busy making other plans?
ReplyDeleteGreat attitude. I am glad you are enjoying the time you do have with one another.
ReplyDeletei've been meaning to email you back about all of this. but where do i begin?
ReplyDeletei absolutely hate that he is leaving. but in a way it gives you hope. i'm right there with ya when it comes to guys. i meet someone, it's great but i eventually scare him off with my crazy. (i cannot tell how good it felt to read that from ya..and know that i am no the only one who has issues with that) anyways, this guy gives you hope that there really are great guys out there that want to be with you and want to stick around. (crazy and all) i think still keeping in touch is a great idea, too. i have a guy like that in my life. he moved away a couple of months ago and we still keep in touch through texting and he's come to visit me once already..and i'm going to see him when i go to fayetteville in the next few weeks. he's not my boyfriend and i'm sure he talks to other girls like i talk to other guys..but i like that he's still someone special. when i'm having a rough day i ALWAYS text him and he makes me feel better.
hey if works out for you guys, it was obvi meant to be. i think you're doing the right thing by not trying to get into a long distance relationship and decided just to keep in touch instead. makes everything light and easy.
My husband and I started our relationship just a few weeks prior to me moving, though, we didn't know it at the time. The last time we saw each other before I left (right after I made the decision to move back home) we sort of made the decision to just see what happened...and well, three years later we got married.
ReplyDelete*hugs* You're right to take it slowly and get to know each other. He sounds amazing (and, of course, my brain is all "You should BOTH move to Seattle! Yay!"). I'm glad you got treated as the goddess that you are, for however short a time. Work out some visiting, stay in communication, try for Skype dates....and see where it goes.
ReplyDelete(I am, of course, not the poster child for this, as my long distance relationship blossomed into a permanent thing...but my man was considering moving up here before we even met, so that's a different situation. Unless you hit it off for MONTHS, and you find an awesome job near his area in OR, and then I recommend moving there but not moving in together just yet.)
Who knows? It might work out. Sounds like you guys are on the right track just seeing where it goes. My parents met in NYC and just a short time later my father moved to Hong Kong...shortly after that my mother followed...and they were married. So sometimes...long distance can work :o)
ReplyDeleteWell, he sounds like he's worth the trip....literally! I hate the timing for you, but who knows? Trip and I survived a separation like that early in our relationship (two states away) so it can be done.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your weekend!
xo,
RJ
Ah... I understand that you're sad. If it's meant to be, your paths will cross again!
ReplyDeleteHe sounds like he is a wonderful guy, even though he is moving away it sounds like you two were meant to meet. I really really hope that everything pans out for you guys! Just remember there are always going to be bumps in the road, you just have to keep moving ahead (:
ReplyDelete