My So-Called Chaos: July 2011

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Heading Out...

Hey lovelies, I'm out for my road trip.

I promise to take lots and lots of pictures.

If you want to keep up with me, here's a map of where I'll be on what days!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Dear So & So Letters

Dear B,

You don't know how awesome I think you are for offering to go get my check for me in case it doesn't come in time for my roadtrip! Thank you SOOOO much, really. I owe you one.

Dear Bloggy Buddies,
You really have no idea how much your comments and support mean to me, especially when I'm hurting. So many of you had such great things to say, so much logic and so many loving words. Thank you!

Dear Blogger,
Stop reformatting my stuff when I press publish! I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW!

Dear Brittney,

I know we have our differences and sometimes it get a little rocky, but I have to stop and think you for how supportive you've been. You're always telling me how good I am, and how I glow and you think I'm an amazing person-you are so sweet. Plus making me talk about it and laying it out in way that wasn't necessarily what I wanted to hear-but in a way that was as I needed to hear it to think of it logically helped a ton. You are such a great friend and I'm glad to know you.

Dear Far-Fetched Theorists:

For those of you saying "Oh moving out will bring you guys closer" all I have to say is: What kind of irrational sense does that make? How will separating and being apart make us closer? You're either trying to comfort with something ridiculous, or you have motives I have no idea of. Maybe someone should explain this concept to me? It's too far-fetched of a concept for me to grasp here.

Dear Kristi,

Thank you so much for being there for me when I need you most. For welcoming me into your family with arms wide and for making me so close that my heart is full. Thank you for calling me when I was falling apart the other night and quickly helping me turn my sorrow into a hopeful plan. You are the best friend anyone could ask for, and I could not be more grateful for you

And finally...

Dear Roommate,

Yes, it hurt when you told me you want to move out and not live with me anymore, but you expected it to and it's natural to feel stunned and hurt when someone you love tells you they're leaving. It's a hard thing to get over, no matter how much you may sympathize or understand the situation.

I understand this doesn't mean the end of the friendship, but it is the end of an era that was very near and dear to my heart. You are the best roommate I've ever had and I've loved living there with you, it truly felt like home to me-even if it never did to you. I worry that you'll never be at home anywhere, until you're at home in your own soul. There is nothing more in the world I wish for you, than for you to finally be at peace with yourself and recognize and accept all of the reasons everyone around you loves you so dearly.

Accepting that this is the decision you have made, doesn't mean I can't mourn or grieve for what will no longer be apart of my daily life; for that home I will no longer have. So if I get sad over it sometimes, please bear with me and realize that I'm only sad because I have loved living with you so much and change is hard. I am sad because I was so happy with it before, so in a way-that's a good kind of sad.

While I'm writing you a letter, I think it prudent to say you should stop torturing yourself over every little thing that is out of your control. Take a deep breath and let go. Free yourself from all that nagging guilt over things that have nothing to do with you. Free yourself from ridiculous expectations you have of yourself, or you assume others to have of you. Decide what you want and go for it, and take no detour on your way to that and just grab it and go. It's time to break the cycle, to truly stretch yourself without any excuses. You can do anything you put your mind to, and have all of us standing by you along the way. You ARE love and abundance. Those of us around you see it, and one day I hope you too will realize it.

You are my best friend, and I am grateful that you consider me such a good friend that you let me in and consider me one of the people closest to you. Reading your post about how you're grateful that I've been there for you through all the rough times, I felt so lucky that you would trust me like that. That doesn't have to change, it just may involve different logistics and long drunken talks at each others places.

Also, you are not allowed to withdraw from me when you have your own place. We'll still need one on one time, and while I'm not sure we'll be any closer-if we really try we can stay close like we are now. I don't want to lose that bond, and I'm willing to fight for it if you are.

I love you always. You are a part of me. Nothing will ever change that.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Road Trip Itinerary

I am so excited for this trip, so and since we finally got a lot of it planned out I thought I'd share the itinerary with you.

Satuday: Wait for my check to come in the mail, and leave (hopefully around 1pm) driving straight through to Sacramento. We got a cheap hotel room there so we can crash and shower in the morning before heading into San Francisco.

Sunday & Monday: Head on into San Francsico. Spending two nights in a Hostel there.

Things we plan to do (and eat) in San Francsico:

Sadly no alcatraz, we didn't get tickets early enough... :(

We're going to hang out with Josh's friend Mike who lives there.
Visit Chinatown and eat real Chinese food.

Visit Japantown and eat authentic Japanese food.

Head on down and play on the Warf.

Eat real San Francisco Clam Chowder in a SourDough bowl.

Visit Boudine's Bakery.

I took this when I was there last year. That's Kristina in the background.

Visit Castro Street.


I took this one last year too.

Tuesday: Hit the road and see the redwoods Forrest. Camp that night.

Wednesday: Still driving the coast, enjoying the sites and camping.

Thursday: Porland!
Here's what we plan to do in Portland:

Eat at Voodoo Donuts!

See the Shanghai Tunnels

Eat at Apizza Scholls (as seen on No Reservations)

Friday & Saturday: Into Seattle where we got another really awesome Hostel right in downtown!

Things we want to see in Seattle:

Pikes Place Market

Salumi

Visit the lovely Beth!
Ferry Boats!

We're always open to more suggestions though! :)

Can it be Saturday now?

Time for Some Straight Talk About Your Phone

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Straight Talk for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

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We all know mom knows best

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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

A Thank You & Some Pins

First of all, I am feeling so much better today.

Much thanks to my amazing friend Kristina for helping me come up with a plan, to my amazing manager Brittney for pulling me aside and talking it out with me PLUS letting me go home early when I felt like too much of a mess to work, Ray for offering me a place to live, as well as all of you wonderful wonderful bloggy friends who left me encouraging words (Jessica, Bree, Claire, April, Leanne, Tami, Aubrey Camille, & Janna) , texted me (Beth), emailed me (Hailey) and were overall supportive when I was feeling so low.

You all mean so much to me.

But lets get to the Pins, shall we?

How true is that?

I think we're mostly afraid of change for the same reason.

Something for me to think about going forward...

Isn't this gorgeous and breathtaking?

I love my hula hoops so far, and I ordered them from Haley who made this.

She is having a HUGE sale. It's a steal.

Only $28 for a collapsible hoop!

3 colors/tapes, shipping included.

You should order one HERE!

Someday, I want a hoop like this!

Still loving this little necklace I made.

It's still for sale, if you want it-buy it HERE!

(enter code: URAPEACH for 10% off anything in the store!)

Source: myrevelment.com via Angela on Pinterest

I'm leaving Saturday for my road trip! Sooo excited!

Source: shopbop.com via Angela on Pinterest

Aren't these adorable?

Happy Pinning!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Blog Lovin'

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Heartache

Last night my roommate, the same one I'm constantly mentioning here in the blog and talking about how grateful I am for having him, told me that he no longer wants to live with me. Apparently he's been thinking it over for quite some time, but I was the last to know.

When he told me I was stunned, and of course like the emotional being I am I immediately felt my heart sink and my eyes well up with tears. I just sat there while he told me how he needed a change, my mind was spinning-why does that change have to be me? Why out of all the million things in life does it have to be me that gets left behind?

Not being one to not express how I feel, I threw those questions at him through my tears. I've always felt so lucky to have him, like we were a family there and like he truly helped make that apartment home for me. Now it was all falling apart, and I couldn't help the enormous hurt that was building inside me. I felt abandoned, and like there was something wrong with me that would encourage him to leave. All in that moment the best part of my life, the apartment-the home I loved, my little family I had built, was being torn down. I felt as if I was losing my best friend.

A little while later my other best friend Kristi called me and we had a long talk. I cried, she supported me, and together we formed a plan on how I can make it on my own once he leaves, and where I should plan to go. She has an Aunt and Uncle who own a hippie house (literally) with apartments in it. They compost, have gardens, would allow pets-plus I'd get to be part of a cool hippie commune type thing, which would be an awesome experience. I wrapped my brain around that process, trying to make the best of what I was being given, and decided I couldn't go to bed Angry because things will always work out.

I knocked on his door and asked if I could talk to him, I just couldn't leave things unresolved. We hugged, and we both cried. He clarified that he's not leaving me, and he's loved our time here-he just needs a change and most of all-wants his own place for the first time in his life. He said we were too safe here, both so completely comfortable we were allowing ourselves to stop growing, or trying to go after things in life. I can try and understand that, and while it may be true, I am happy in that comfort. We talked, we planned, and were able to feel mostly resolved before we turned in for the night.

But then I crawled into bed and started remembering how empty the house feels when he's not around, and how much I have loved this time together, and I was sad again. I didn't really sleep, I tossed and turned-and woke up even more sad this morning.

Hopefully a little St. Johns Wart will help me perk up, but it's not a cure for sadness. I guess I have to let myself grieve and mourn as this change happens. I just wish I didn't feel so depressed.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Man Candy Monday: Bradley Cooper

Bradley Cooper

I was just watching Limitless, and man is he a sexy sexy man. Of course Janna has always proclaimed it so, but now and again a good movie shot reminds us...

Also, he speaks French. Very sexy.

Check it out.

Name: Bradley Cooper

Birth date: January 5th, 1975

Birth Place: Philadelphia Pennsylvania

Noteable Roles:

Eddie Mora - Limitless

Face - The A Team

Holden Wilson - Valentines Day

Gus - NY I ♥ You

Peter - Yes Man

Will Tippin - Alias

Phil - The Hangover

Ben - He's Just Not That Into You

Interesting Facts:

Was a medalist on the Men's Heavyweight Crew team at Georgetown University.
He's half Irish, half Italian
Was in a relationship with Renée Zellweger (July 2009-March 2011).
Admitted that in the beginning of his career casting agents tended to peg him as just a 'pretty boy', which made finding meaningful roles challenging.
The summers took him all across the globe, from kayaking in British Columbia with Orca Whales to ice-climbing in the Peruvian Andes, while hosting Lonely Planet's "Treks in a Wild World" (2000) for the Discovery Channel

Musical Mondays: Grace Kelly

This week's song:

Grace Kelly

by Mika

♥ ♥ ♥

I LOVE Mika, and I just heard this song for the first time when a coworker recommended it. Isn't it awesome? He's so dorky and loveable, and the song is catchy and upbeat!

Enjoy, and Happy Monday!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Days Like These...

I gained 5lbs last week.

5 effing pounds.

That's half of what I lost back.

I know I made a few bad choices food wise.

But not 5lbs worth...

I was bad with my water

I didn't sleep enough...

But still...

5lbs?!?!?!

That's not fair.

I feel like laying down and giving up.

I'm so angry.

So forgive me if I can't post something upbeat today.

And I can't think of confessions to link up.

I'm too upset with the situation to put much thought into anything.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

It's the Simple Things

Sometimes I think we get to caught up in the big picture.

We are constantly caught up in the hustle and bustle of the world around us. Rushing to and from work, picking up and dropping kids off from various activities, errands-the dry cleaner, the supermarket, and various other tasks that seem to suck away all of our time; leaving us frazzled and stressed.

Isn't it really the simple things in life that really make it beautiful?

Catching that warm ray of light and getting lost in it.

When a warm summer breeze catches your hair just right.

A new pair of shoes.

A new twirly dress that makes you feel like a kid again.

Doing something crazy with a few good friends.

Getting caught in a fit of laughter.

Time with a good book.

Falling in love.

The love of a good pet.

Cuddling with children. (honorary nieces and nephews for me!)

First kisses...

... and kisses for the rest of your life.

I recommend the next time you catch yourself in a simple moment-let go of the complexity of the rest of your life. Just enjoy it. If you do, you'll live longer.