Some days it just comes down to a matter of faith.
I'm not talking about religious faith, or spiritual faith-we're not talking about a diety.
We're talking about believing in something even when it has no proof.
Something like yourself, someone else, or the outcome of a situation.
Sometimes you start liking someone... You're getting to the stage where you are "in like" with someone, which can quickly lead to falling in love. This person seems to have so many things that fit with what you'd like in a partner and he appears to be looking for something real just like you are-how often does that happen?
He makes you laugh continually and takes it when you tease him. The witty banter between the two of you can keep you chuckling for ages. Intelligence is important, and boy is he smart. You can have long drawn out conversations about politics, religion, philosophy, classic literature, etc. When you're with him, he treats you like you are the most beautiful and special person in the entire world, and when you're apart he texts you to let you know he's thinking of you, or to tell you incredibly sweet things.
Problem is, everyone has baggage-so yes, this guy who is all of these wonderful things has his own trunk full of it. But guess what? So do you. Everyone has baggage.
So when he sits down and tells you that things need to slow down a little bit because he isn't ready to be committed to you yet-it's really hard not to open that baggage you're hauling around and start sorting through the contents and looking over every item that was left there by some previous relationship. Holding each and every little thing up to the light, turning it over and contemplating how it could apply to this particular instance.
“And maybe that’s the trick to getting through it, through life: realizing that everybody, including ourselves, is lugging around some kind of screwed-up baggage. Maybe we are put here to help each other carry the loads.” — Lisa Ann Sandell
Here, it's really hard to trust that it will all work out for the best. It's hard to trust that if you keep seeing each other and you keep moving towards having real and strong emotions for this person, it'll end up in a good place-or that it'll have a happy ending.
What you fail to realize at this point is that this situation isn't really unique to you, and it's hard to see that past your own circumstances. It's anyone who ever had feelings for anyone, any relationship that ever was, and any two people in the world. When you start getting to know someone or having feelings for them-there's no guarantee that they will ever have the same feelings for you. When it comes time to start a committed relationship with someone-there's no guarantee that you will last. Hell, even when you get married and promise your forever-you still can't guarantee that promise will be kept. You can't control or predict the future.
All you can guarantee is that you fight for it when it's worth fighting for. If this is a person you could find yourself really enjoying your time with-you keep on going down that path and fighting for the chance to be that to them. If you have a disagreement, you fight to work it out because you matter to each other. You don't give up until there is nothing worth fighting for anymore.
So this is where faith comes in. You have to have faith that things will work out the way they need to work out, even if it's not the outcome you expect or plan for.
I have faith.
I have faith that what is meant to be will be.
Que sera, sera.
I have faith that if I'm meant to be with someone.
No one else will measure up, and we'll both know.
I have faith that I am healthy and whole.
That I wont let my previous damage or hurt stop me from loving.
That I wont over-analyze everything that is said.
And I wont give up just because there's a little bump in the road.
I have faith that everything will work out as it should,
and that I will be ok with whatever outcome it is.
No matter how it feels.
And no matter how long it takes to get there.
I have faith
That I am beautiful.
I am strong.
I am compassionate and caring.
I love more fully and intensely than most.
I am sincere and honest.
I'm a catch.
I am not afraid to walk down this path even though I have no idea where it may go.
I'm not afraid of the dark, or the light ahead.
I am only happy to be walking this path at all.
I hope you all have a little extra faith today.