Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness
Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion
Never dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you
You've always known your heart was on it's own
So laugh at your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to love the life that is lived alone
Learn to be lonely
Live can be lived, life can be loved alone
Learn to be Lonely
From The Phantom of the Opera Soundtrack
I am deflated. Monday was a good day, I walked with my head high and my heart was singing because I had such an awesome time Sunday night. Tuesday was still good, and I was still feeling flushed with excitement about upcoming relationship possibilities. About 11pm last night, it all just seemed to come crashing down on me, and I seemed to lose hope.
It had been such a fantastic date, with so many wonderful things that seemed to have been set in motion, and so many beautiful words said between the two of us that I would have expected some contact by now... At least a call or text message, or a response to one of mine, but there has been nothing. The logical me calmly says "Trust it, it'll be ok, don't jump to conclusions." However, the emotionally vulnerable me (which I opened specifically for him) nags much more loudly in my head "There's a reason you haven't heard from him." Then the worrying starts.
Sometimes I really wonder if I'm meant to have a real relationship. There are my friends, and they are wonderful and close to me, but when it comes to dating/romantic relationships, I haven't very much faith. That's when I begin to wonder if I am meant to be alone, and if I shouldn't just get used to it. Perhaps there is a divine purpose in my being unattached in such a way, and perhaps I should learn to accept it. The song above played through my head as I tried to sleep last night but couldn't because I was shaking with disappointment.
Today I have the following playing in my head:
Did I give my love to soon or wait to long?
Did I take it a little to easy or put it on too strong?
Julie Roberts - Rain on a Tin Roof
You're being a girl again.... ;)
ReplyDeleteYou know the age ol' thing that a guy will wait to call a girl for a week after....STUPID!!! Either he's reading too many Nora Roberts novels and thinks that staying away is better, making the heart grow fonder, yada, yada, yada, or he is just clueless... Hopefully he is just clueless... You're beautiful and fun...if he's not quicker on his feet someone else will come along, and the bug of regret will have bitten him on his a**. Dating sucks! (your uncle took a little work to get him to come around and once he did, there was no losing him! If he's worth it, don't loose hope!)
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